Ember (The Ember Series) by Oates Carol

Author:Oates, Carol [Oates, Carol]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Omnific Publishing
Published: 2011-07-17T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

Candra contemplated asking Draven, if she were to go to him, if she became one of the Tenebras, if they left the city, could she still maintain her relationship with Brie? She knew it wouldn’t happen. She wasn’t stupid; Brie would still be seen as one of the Nuhra. She would never be accepted by them. Even if Candra could ask her, she wouldn’t. There was clearly something between Brie and Gabe. Brie had given up so much; Candra would never ask that of her too.

Tears itched in her eyes when she realized she was fighting the inevitable. There was no way to come out of this unscathed; maybe that was why Sebastian was being so nice. Sudden desperation washed over her when she realized their time was limited. Her head leaned against his shoulder, and her arms sought his waist of their own volition.

“I wish I could find another way, but I don’t know how,” Candra murmured against his skin and felt his heart jump.

“Why don’t you hate me? I’ve done such terrible things,” Sebastian whispered against her hair. She could feel the vibrations of his lips against her scalp, and his fingers threaded up through her hair.

“Why don’t you hate me? I’ve invalidated everything you thought you stood for.”

“I was looking for Brie, because I needed some sort of closure. I have a little problem with always wanting to be right about everything.” He paused to chuckle, and Candra couldn’t help joining in. At least he could see it.

“Wow, really? I hadn’t noticed. You always seem so open and willing to compromise,” Candra teased. Again, her body reacted without conscious decision, and her head turned toward him. Sebastian’s breath stopped when Candra’s lips brushed over the skin below his collarbone, and she froze. I didn’t kiss him, she thought. It wasn’t a kiss. It was just her lips accidentally touching his body—it wasn’t a kiss. All the time she was trying to convince herself, she was stock-still and he wasn’t breathing, but his heart was thumping heavily. Candra was relieved when instead of confronting her with her actions, Sebastian continued on.

“I was convinced that Brie was persuaded against her will to fall, even though my rational mind knew it to be completely impossible. You see, like everything else, we have to want it badly enough and truly enough. There can’t be any indecision. Still, I searched for her. When I found her, I found you.” He stopped again, breathing deeply and exhaled, sending his warm breath over Candra. “This is hard. I haven’t spoken about it with anyone else.”

“Then I’m glad it’s me.” She focused on the metronome beat of his heart to steady her nerves. At this point she was willing to concede that Sebastian didn’t, in fact, hate her.

“They are all wrong about me. I know what they think: that I can’t accept what I’ve done, that I’m still looking for forgiveness. I’m not proud of my actions, but I did what I had to, and if I’m being honest, I would make the same decisions again.

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